Not patient enough.
Lord Spanky has been patiently waiting for his turn in the Average Joe machine. Well, I just flipped a lever, turned a dial, and we're gonna run this sucker through the ringer. If you met him online and wanted to learn more about him (man, aren't you a glutton for punishment), strap in, buckle up, pull on a helmet, and get read to ride. Or just read this interview. Whatever.
Q. Who are you and what do you do?
A. My name is Shane, I'm 17, and I'm currently a Senior in High School. I live in Ohio, but if any of you want to find out the city I live in, you'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. Which is a paradox, sort of, because you'd have to know where I was first in order to kill me in order to pull the information from my hands.
You see why I'm so deadly.
As for my hobbies, they are not many; the simple pleasures, really. I enjoy playing videogames, primarily with Bungie.net people on Bungie-produced games, I enjoy reading several Science Fiction and Fantasy novel series, I enjoy making theories on the Haloverse (that's right guys, check out that Universe Forum from time to time. I've got some interesting stuff in there…) and I enjoy talking with my girlfriend when the chance comes 'round, which is just about every day. Beyond that my life exists as a mundane reflection of the typical obligations of a Senior: homework, school, studying, failing to get enough sleep.
Q. Sleep is important. Always remember to settle in at a decent hour. Your mind and body will thank you. How did you settle into your gamertag?
A. Oh hell. Alright, before we go anywhere, I would like to let everyone know, right now, that I am NOT a snake, nor is my name pronounced "Snake-y". It's actually "Snak-ie", due to some crazy/awesome English law or whatnot.
Now that that's out of the way, my name originated from way back in the day, 'round 8th or 9th grade, when myself and my friends were just wee lads. For some reason we got together and started making up words; I don't remember our exact motivation for this, but I can assure you all that we were under the influence of nothing more than caffeine. One of the new "words" was "Shnakie", but jmh9072, a previous Average Joe and one of my closer friends, mispronounced it "Snakie" the day or two before I made my first account. The first account was made as "Lord Shnakie", the correct pronunciation, but I promptly forgot the e-mail account attached to it and never used it again. The very next day, I used jmh's mispronunciation of "Snakie" to create this account name, and it's stuck with me for over three years now, also becoming my first (and only) gamertag.
The way I look at it, the origins were… odd, to say the least, but the outcome is a unique name that I've really carved out for myself, something that doesn't very easily get lost in all the clutter around it. For that, at least, I'm thankful.
Q. Now that we've got the name and the correct pronunciation, how 'bout telling us where you hang out when you visit Bungie.net and what in particular you like about this here place?
A. Hmm… what do I like in particular? Well, when I joined B.net back in '06, I was under pressure from jmh to participate in the big theory threads in the Halo 3 Forum. That was when I met my first big-shots, like ICEMAN ASSASS1N and opogjijijp, and when I got my first big taste of the theory scene, which is one I have continued to populate through my time on this site. I also learned quite a bit about game mechanics and creation from my early days in that forum, too, and gained a healthy… er… disrespect for the rules. I do believe that four out of my… well… six warnings came from pre-'08.
After making a few too many threads to do with a particular theory of mine and getting called a jackass by several users (by essentially making sure people saw it by creating "new" versions that had barely nothing different from the original, I won't deny it) I left the public forums in favor of the privates, where I joined some of my more memorable groups, such as the Council of Spartans (which has since died) and KOTOR, of which I am still a big part. My time posting only in Private Chapters continued for about a year, until I jumped back out to the forum scene in July of '08, at which point the big controversy about the E3/ODST news release was going on. I tried to help out a bit, but forgot to check the rules and posted in a recon thread, which landed me my first ban and an additional warning, which made me angry enough to actually forsake the Halo 3 Forum (like it was that forum's fault!) and travel elsewhere. Namely, the Community.
Ahh, the Community. As much as it's a center for thought-provoking discussion and site updates, it's a cesspit of elitism and repeat threads. Nevertheless, I have been posting there for well over a year now, and it's important to mention in my cycle of site travel (and growing maturity). The Community contributed to fixing my horrible arrogance problem, my writing style, and my thought processes. More than any other group or forum on the site, the Community has molded my mind into the Snakie that you see the words flowing from this day. But the Community isn't my favorite forum, not anymore… more like just the place where I post the most. A few months ago, with the introduction of the Bungie Universe forum, I've sort of… migrated, in a sense. A forum made entirely for theorists? I about died in ecstasy. That's where it's all at, at least for now.
Q. So, why gaming?
A. Gaming is a communal thing for me; I don't do it for the enjoyment a game itself brings, not unless I've got no choice. If I've got no internet, I play one of my single-player games. But, if I've got internet, I'm playing so I can hang out with friends and like-minded individuals. I may get on a single-player game, but I'll still be in a party with friends. It's just the way I am: I have to play with people if I have the option to, or at least talk to them. At the same time, though, the people I happen to have on my friends list for the most part are users from this very site. I suppose I enjoy hanging out with people from this place even in my time away from it. I'm in love with it that much, I suppose.
Q. What was the first Bungie title you fell in love with?
A. I jumped on the bandwagon with Halo: CE. I was young at the time, perhaps 8 or 9, and my cousin had an Xbox and the game. So he came over to my house and we spent the day playing on Easy, because we couldn't do anything harder. I remember the sense of awe that stuck with me to this day, though: the feeling that something's going to jump out and end me every time I come to a corner, the horror at the discovery of the Flood, the mystery of the story itself. That, more than anything else, is why I remain a theorist to this day. My goal is to find those mysteries.
Q. Spoilers! (Are you surprised by your level of community involvement?)
A. Not really, no. I'm currently living in a semi-gutted house that we've had under renovation for some time now, and my existing entertainment basically consists of two TVs (only one with cable), the internet, books, and videogames. Videogames are great, and I've spent 137 hours on a single profile in Fallout 3 (impressive, right?), but that can't take up all of my time any more than reading Frank Herbert's Dune three times in a row can (oh yes, I've done that). The obvious answer? Internet. The obvious place? Bungie. It flexes my brain at the same time it gives me carpel tunnel. What more could a guy ask!
Q. Dunno. Do you check out any other online communities on a regular basis?
A. No, I'm pretty much attached to Bungie.net at the hip. I've briefly tried out other such sites, but I keep bring drawn back to Bungie.net for a myriad of reasons, and I never seem to return to the other ones. I think it's really mainly because I've already got quite a bit of friends here, I'm aware of the site rules, and, to be quite frank, Bungie.net is ten times more organized (and better) than all those other guys, anyway.
Q. Wanna yell at some people and say what's up?
A. This is going to be quite long.
Before all else, I have an interesting fact to bring up: my hometown is getting a Mythic/Joe monopoly. Myself, jmh9072, and BerserkerBarrage are all from the same state, not to mention the same city, and are now all Occasional-Mythics (at the least) and Average Joes! Favoritism, urk? For shame!
Now that that's done:
First and foremost, I want to give a shout-out to my buddy jmh9072, fellow sometimes-Mythic member, fellow Ohioan, fellow Average Joe, and the very reason I'm being graced with this article today. It's all down to you, mate.
Right behind jmh, I want to give a shout to my best e-buddy burritosenior, who is the God-King of the Halo 3 Forum. PM him for me, guys, until he decides to give up trying to make me join Mythic Members.
Behind burrito I want to give shout-outs to the entire Community and Universe forum, along with my favorite private group, KOTOR (simply because the sheer magnitude of these shout-outs, they come before the rest of you guys, my apologies). To quote Bilbo Baggins like the massive Tolkein nerd I am, "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
Next up, Robby118, my Bungie.net stalker. I didn't forget you, you creepy ass. Along with Robby comes YahwehFreak4evr, who is another creepy stalker. And what the hell, I'll throw hamdog in there as well, even though he's not really a stalker. Oh, and Duardo. He's not really a stalker, either, but he tried to steal my docs.
Next group includes the best theorists still on this site, and very close acquaintances and friends of mine. I salute you: SpoonGuard, Wolverfrog, Agustus, opogjijijp, and MLG Cheehwawah.
My Xbox Live Buddies: Singularity7, REVERENC3, whatiplaylike/hamdog, Helveck, Iggyhopper, lolpokey, Omnicent, Pirated Bads, Tartan118 (<3), TheScriptKeeper, and x Lord Revan x.
My Bungie.net friends. Essentially, everyone I didn't mention elsewhere that happen to think I like them, just group yourselves here.
I'm tired. Too many shout outs. Need rest. Discussion thread attached.